After telling a friend about my new 7 a.m. start time to my job, she said, “that’s sad, but you have to do it. That’s the price most people pay for a steady job.” She and I both worked in the television industry, during which time we were mostly contractors, never knowing if our show was about to be cancelled. Funnily enough, my new position still finds me as a contractor, having not yet been hired full-time. I’m all right with that though, just in case it doesn’t work out. Makes it easier to bail.)
Speaking of my new job, it is definitely more of an office-y environment than I am used to. People file in at 7, EVERYBODY takes lunch from 11:30 – 12:30, and the mass exodus occurs at 4. I was unfortunately about 20 minutes late to my first day, having to deal with a massive traffic attack, at least some of which I’m hoping can be attributed to the icy cold weather that morning. I guess I’ll find that out tomorrow. The rigidity of it seems weird to me, but I have been completely spoiled by my last job which allowed a great deal of freedom (which in turn, in my opinion, generates a great deal of good will and good work). I was also spoiled by college, which to me seems like the first and last place a person goes to be treated like an adult.
The actual work I did was not bad. It kept me busy all day and I was actually getting paid to sit around and type words on a screen, just like I’m doing now, with the occasional long pause as my brain decides which direction to go in next. Yet I still feel uncertain. First of all, it’s new and as my friend and I discussed, new jobs are just plain tiresome, with all the new people to sense out and all the ropes to learn. Secondly, in the five years I’ve been employed by the one company, all of my attempts (minus one) at work outside the company have been miserable failures. It is my only job outside of college I have ever truly enjoyed, which makes it sad that at the end it was also so diasppointing. When I think about it now, though, the other job I enjoyed having was my music library job in college, and when the supervisor quit and we got someone new, it all went downhill from there. Finally, while I may be overreacting (Who? Me? Never?!?) to the rules and regulations to which I am now subjective, since it always seems to be an issue with me, perhaps it’s a sign that it’s time to start striving for something new. Obviously I’ve already started something new with the writing thing, but if in fact I find the confines of an office too much to swallow, perhaps I should start looking for ways to be employed and make money outside of an office. In the immortal words of BTO, “If you ever get annoyed, look at me I’m self- employed.”
Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.”