Relapse

If drugs are anything like sleeping in, I can see why so many people end up in rehab so many times.  It was my intention to start keeping an earlier schedule to ease the days that I do have to get up early for my new job.  I’ve never been a morning person, but with Shaun and I both off of work, and Shaun being the only person I’ve met that’s more of a night owl than I am, my nights and mornings both got later and later.  So I knew the day would soon come along when I would have to return to a less vampirish schedule, unless of course I wound up on a vampirish work schedule, which happens to me a lot.  I digress.  It was my intention to start getting up a little earlier every day so that the really early mornings weren’t so much of a shock.  I did pretty well building up to my first day, but over the course of my four day weekend have relapsed.  It’s very easy to tell which side my circadian rhythms are butter on, because no matter how tired I am, I can always stay up later, but no threat of tiredness can make me go to sleep earlier.  Also, when I wake up at 7:30, I can’t think of anything to do.  “Why would I get up just to be bored?” I ask myself.  So back to sleep it is.  It seems to me like keeping an early morning schedule is just a pursuit of tiredness.  In order to start getting up earlier you have to make yourself tired so you can go to sleep earlier, but the first chance you get, it’s back to staying up late.  I think I will continue trying to keep a more normal schedule but just resign myself to the fact I will be extremely tired two days a week.  (Or four, since lack of sleep really has a way of catching up with you the day after the fact.)  I know it’s not the end of the world, but because I see this job as having potential, and knowing I won’t do that schedule five days a week, I find it disappointing.

I was extremely tired at work on Thursday but still managed to find sixty pages of missing transcript.  How that was missed in the first place, I don’t know. 

It occurs to me now that I’ve spent a great deal of my life railing against or worrying about early morning wake up calls and lack of sleep.  I’m not sure why I’m so consumed by it.  Shaun, for instance, is less obsessed about it.  He can “catch up” on sleep on weekends, and sleep whenever he feels like it.  I’ve never been that way, and I can really feel the difference when I don’t get enough sleep.  It affects my ability to function and I hate being so tired I can’t do anything. 

It’s worth mentioning that my hopes that the heavy traffic I encountered early Tuesday morning was just a result of bad weather and icy roads were dashed.  Thursday was just as bad and I was late again.  Now I’ll have to leave the house even earlier, at six a.m. 

But, that’s a worry for another day, not this beautiful Sunday afternoon.  Here’s a cute pic of Sid helping Shaun read the final “Harry Potter” book. 

Sid learns the ending to “Harry Potter”

Happy sleeping to all, and to all a good night.

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About suitejen

Writer. Video Editor. Mama.
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