Total Sweets Baked in January = 9
Total Sweet Cheats Used in January = 0
My self-imposed New Year’s challenge to bake all of the sweets I want to eat, without eating any store-bought or prepared indulgences, is off to a good start. Unless you ask my weight, and then it’s off to a very bad start.
I started the month off thinking I’d bake once a week, probably on Fridays, and I could call these days, “Friday Bakes.” Probably all the better that that isn’t at all how it went, at least for the month of January. On the 1st or 2nd of the month, I started off with:
Bake #1 – Brownie Bites
On advice of counsel, I tried something new. I used a brownie recipe to make brownie bites in a mini-muffin tin. I should’ve just made these in a pan, or used cupcake liners, because they adhered to the tin like glue. Also, I meander among brownie recipes, and haven’t settled on the perfect one, but whichever one I used this time (ay, this is the problem) wasn’t it.
Bake #2 (Friday Bake) – Cinnamon Rolls
I’m used to making cinnamon rolls with the assist of a bread machine, but because I no longer have one, and I do not wish to get one as I do not have the space for one, I decided to make them by hand. They didn’t rise properly, but that’s because the recipe I used (America’s Test Kitchen) had me leave them on the counter to proof. I don’t know why they thought that would work, but I’m thinking whoever wrote those instructions lives somewhere that’s warmer than January in Washington. Had I proofed them in the oven, per usual, I think they would’ve been fine. These used brown sugar instead of white, which gave them a gooey, sticky quality. It wasn’t bad, but I have less than mainstream ideas about how a cinnamon roll should taste, so I’ll probably switch back to white sugar if I bake these again.
Bake #3 – Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Frosting
These turned out good but I should’ve covered them sooner. Left them sitting on the counter and the frosting got a little crunchy. I had too much batter so I froze half, and am curious to see if that’s a viable option for cake batter.
Sweet Cheat #1 – UNSUCCESSFUL sweet cheat!
On the middle Saturday of the month, we went to Potbelly Sandwiches, all the way in Renton, because we love them. I decided I would use my first sweet cheat (I get six store bought or otherwise not-homemade treats for the year) to order a chocolate milkshake. Even though I have been stressing over eating too much sugar and thinking it has been having a negative effect on my sleep, I really love Potbelly milkshakes. After ordering, I sat down with the shake. It tasted like vanilla. I opened the lid and stirred it up, hoping to distribute the chocolate flavor. But there was no chocolate flavor. So I waited until the counter was free of customers and I went to complain about the shake. Look, I don’t like to complain. I don’t want to be a Karen. And I know damn well that associates don’t like dealing with me. I don’t know what it is, but sales people are never particularly friendly to me, unless they’re really working on a sell. I’m polite but not overly chatty. I want to get my stuff and get on with my day. If I’m with my husband, a friend, even my own mother, I see plain as day that the customer service interactions are much warmer than with me. I suspect it has something to do with the very, very dark circles under my eyes, even more pronounced now that I don’t bother with makeup since I have a mask covering 70% of my face anyway. I look sick or strung out, and I don’t invite conversation. I digress. I told the staff that I had ordered a chocolate milkshake but what I had tasted like vanilla. I was caught off-guard when the guy behind the counter told me that it was for sure chocolate. He said it had two pumps of chocolate, and they could remake it for me but it would taste the same. It took me just a second to process this and then decide if I would slink back to my table or press them further. I pressed. I could hear the tone of my voice as I said the words, “well it doesn’t taste like chocolate, so if you could make it again, then we’ll see.” These words were absolutely dripping with disdain. And it wasn’t that I wanted to be rude, but it’s weird when someone is telling you they gave you a chocolate milkshake and you are telling them it’s vanilla. It’s like they’re saying, “you don’t know what chocolate tastes like,” and what I want to say is, “believe you me, I know what chocolate tastes like.” I love the Potbelly milkshakes, and this was not up to code. He remade the shake and as he handed it to me, I said, “thank you, I appreciate it.” He didn’t say anything back. He was obviously upset, as was I, not only because I made this guy’s day demonstrably worse, but also because I just wanted what I ordered and I feel like that shouldn’t have been an unreasonable request. The re-made shake tasted ever so slightly more chocolate, but still about 90% vanilla. I don’t know if they had to change their recipe to cut costs (oh that pricey chocolate!) or they just had the ratio off, but it was not something I was going to waste 750 calories and a precious cheat pass on, so I threw them both away and we left.
I understand life is hard with COVID. Customers are ruder than they have ever been, and maybe this guy had had a hard day. But I cannot even think of the last time we ordered food where we got what we ordered. Delivery drivers forget drinks, custom requests are ignored, and sauces never make it home with us. I’m getting discouraged. I used to love going out and now it feels like, “why bother?” If no one can get it right, I’ll just stay home. I can add chocolate to my heart’s content, and I’ll never give myself shit about it, either.
There’s a broader point to be made here that America is now a service economy, so the fact that we can’t get good service is a problem. But that’s a topic for another day.
Bake #4 – Banana Bread
God, I love banana bread. I don’t know why since I don’t love bananas, but I ate almost the entire loaf by myself. I wanted to make it because, after the Potbelly disappointment, we went shopping and I bought a very cute silicone loaf pan. The directions for the pan said to use butter, not oil or spray, to grease the walls, and I did, but couldn’t help but wonder, why? Isn’t silicone supposed to be non-stick?
Bake #5 – Incidental/Accidental Mug Brownie
Sonja bought a pre-made mug brownie mix at the store that she quite liked. The box had three packets in it, and I taught her how to make it herself. She will protest the fact that she’s not getting complete and devoted service from me, but she also is proud of herself when she does something independently. Well, she tried making the last packet herself and forgot to stir the ingredients before putting it in the microwave. The brownie was ruined and she was beside herself. In one of my more ingenious moments, I said, “hang on, there’s a recipe for a mug brownie on the internet somewhere for sure. We can do this ourselves.” There were thousands of recipes I helped her make one from scratch. It was very large and she didn’t eat it all, and then I had an epiphany. Oh, I can eat this! I made it! It’s the perfect emergency, “I-need-chocolate-but-I-don’t-have-time-to-bake” sweet.
Bake #6 – Banana Bread
Because I still had bananas and wanted to see if the new silicone pan needed greasing. It didn’t. I gave most of this away so I didn’t eat it all again.
Bake #7 – Peanut Butter Cookies
I don’t make peanut butter cookies that often as I’m not a big fan of peanut butter. Strangely the formula of not liking bananas but loving banana bread doesn’t apply to peanut butter and its cookies. They’re fine maybe once a year, using my perfect, accidentally gluten-free recipe.
Bake #8 – Mug Brownie
What can I say. There was an emergency and I didn’t have anything chocolate lying around.
Bake #9 – Madeleines
I’m having trouble with the Madeleine recipe I have because starting the oven at 518 degrees (and then dropping it to 410 after putting the cookies in) seems to be a wee bit too hot. Bottoms get overdone before the tops get cooked through. I’ve stuck with the recipes because the cookies are so tasty. I finally made a note to try a lower oven temperature next time. Because there will be a next time.
And now it’s on to February. For the next update: pictures!
Suite Story Productions 