I recently watched the live-action version of Disney’s The Little Mermaid with my almost twelve-year-old. The original, animated version of this movie came out in 1989, when I was almost twelve, and I loved it. I loved the story, I loved the music, and I loved the happy ending where the 16-year-old is allowed to marry a man she just met. (Of course, I didn’t think of it that way in 1989, but to rewatch some of these old Disney movies as a parent is to see them in a completely different way.) Sonja, having seen the original, liked this version just fine. But Disney did not update the story as they should have for a generation of 2023 twelve-year-olds, who grew up watching Frozen and understand that you can’t marry a man you just met. Thus, sadly but perhaps not unfortunately, I do not think this film will register in my daughter’s consciousness as the original registers in mine.
If you grew up watching The Little Mermaid, or Disney movies in general, you probably have a sense that the arc of the universe bends towards justice. I know I do. But it turns out the universe likes to bend its arc towards comedy. Oh, universe, you think you’re so funny. Remember last update, when I talked of Sonja’s fifth grade teacher, whom I received daily complaints about? She wasn’t as good as the 3rd-4th grade teacher who Sonja missed terribly. Both the 3rd/4th grade teacher and the fifth grade teacher were seasoned veterans of the profession, but the fifth grade teacher wasn’t friendly or warm, and if the reports that got back to me were accurate, said some educationally questionable things. I was sure we could do better, especially since we were moving to the Shangri-La of school districts in Orange County, California. But the universe had a different plan. Instead of a seasoned teaching veteran, we got a baby. A baby with a tik-tok. A youngin’ right out of college with minimal experience. Add that to the fact that Sonja is back in what I like to refer to as a gen-pop class, and I feel like a monster. Worst parent of the century. But I think the point here – the lesson the universe is trying to teach through humor – is that there is no Shangri-La. Somewhere along the line, I got a solid education, and it’s not because I went to a good schools in good districts. I went to “bad” schools. But I had some good teachers. I have so much more to say on this but that’s not why you called. For now, let’s simply reflect on the good school/good teacher distinction, as well as what education should look like in sixth grade. Y’all can let me know in the comments if I’m right or if I’m crazy.
Back to the protagonist, as Sonja would say. She misses her old class and is not yet sold on this new school. She is very upset that they are doing the same math she did last year. I am upset about this too but don’t know what to do about it. She was also really upset that their lunchroom is outside. Oh the horror. In contrast, she was annoyed the other day when it sprinkled and the kids had to have indoor recess. Hilarious. In her previous district, they wouldn’t let the kids inside for recess even if there was a hurricane. She has a class called “innovations lab” that she likes, though it sounds like they only get to have that class once or twice a month. This class has legos and 3D printers, and what’s not to like about that? She likes her band teacher, but dislikes the fact the class is called “winds” instead of band.
Sonja had to answer the eponymous, “what did you do on summer vacation” for her class, and her answer was “nothing.” I said, “we moved; that’s not nothing,” but I understand her point. This summer was boring, especially for her, but for all of us, really. The chaos of the move, getting our things set up, registering cars, etc., kept us busy but not with fun, summertime things or things that one even remotely wants to be doing at any time of the year. I made sure we had a few fun outings otherwise I would’ve gone crazy. We got a southern California resident ticket for Disneyland and enjoyed the park on three separate and appropriately spaced days. One Saturday, I took her to Newport Beach, which was absolutely a mistake. I had no idea it could take one two hours to travel 13 miles. Afterwards, we stopped by the Old Spaghetti Factory in Newport Beach. (#15 on my list if anyone else is counting.) We also went to the farmer’s market, an independent bookstore, and an underwhelming store called Five Below that we’d heard about on YouTube. We made several trips to our HOA pool, which is always absurdly quiet and empty. I thought we should go there everyday, but as noted at her birthday party, it’s much more fun to swim with friends.
The view of Newport Beach.
It was so busy.
We had fun for a little bit.
Then we got annoyed and hungry, so we went to the second happiest place on Earth, The Old Spaghetti Factory!
On a new (to us) ride at Disneyland…the parking tram!
It was overcast, but not this dark. It must be the fairies working their magic.
Look! We can finally see her above the windshield!
Having too much fun on Winnie the Pooh.
Toy Story Midway Mania! Our favorite.
Luigi’s Rollickin’ Roadsters, decked out for Halloween.
Frontierland, decked out for Halloween (yes, it’s too early for this, but oh well.)
#TeamHauntedMansionHoliday
Speaking of the birthday party, Sonja has made two good friends at school that she invited over to celebrate with her last weekend. I know she wanted a bigger party and misses her friends from home, but I am impressed that she has already made two friends. She settled on Halloween theme, which consisted of a few streamers, some plates and napkins, and digging out the fall/Halloween decor a little early. Sonja’s friends stayed the night and we went to the pool for what was a private pool party, since people here don’t seem to understand that it’s sunny. It might’ve been “too cold” last weekend – a chilly 77 degrees – but we all found it to be the perfect temperature. In fact, her two friends jumped right into the deep end without even testing the water. I’m not sure I could do that even if someone was drowning. After swimming, we went to Korean food. Sonja still doesn’t like cake so we stuck a candle in a cookie and made a wish. Then the kids stayed up late – but not catch-the-sunrise late – watching movies and making TikToks.
Someday she’ll learn to swim (?)
I really think this is a nice pool.
Splash!
Opening a large present.
Yay, a video game!
A birthday cookie.
Her “lunch room” at school.
Other than location, there’s not that much that has changed in the last three months. Sonja still loves playing video games online with friends, watching YouTube, and drawing. She’s still super smart, super tiny, and a super picky eater. She’s more patient than she used to be, and is great at doing things that take extensive concentration, like building universes in Bloxburg, or making intricate kandi bracelets. She still melts down when things don’t work perfectly, but she’s quicker to recover.
One of our last outings this summer was to the movie theater on National Cinema Day, when ticket prices were just $4, and snacks were just as cheap. We saw Jurassic Park, which originallycame out in 1993, when I was almost 15. Jurassic Park replaced The Little Mermaid as my favorite movie, and to this day, it’s the only movie I’ve seen in the theater more than once. (Thrice in ’93 and now four times total!) I had shown Sonja Jurassic Park before, but she remembered none of it, so it was superb to see her reaction to it on the big screen. And that reaction? She fell in love with Jeff Goldblum. Like mother, like daughter. And now you see what I mean about the universe having a sense of humor.
Let’s talk about evolution for a moment. Do y’all remember why I started this blog? Don’t worry – I know you don’t. I’m not that kind of confident. To refresh your memory, 16 years ago, in 2007, we decided to buy a house, and I decided to blog about the – ahem – adventure. It was harrowing, buying a house, and I remember not liking the process. (An aside: I didn’t like the process because it was littered with greed. It is also a process that doesn’t cater to people who have never been through the process, which is insulting. You shouldn’t have to work in real estate to get a fair shake. *Dismounts soapbox*) After we bought the house, I started chronicling the renovation – ahem – adventures, which I also did not like (See above reasons.) And finally, six months after Sonja came along, I started blogging about the parenting – ahem – adventure, which I find challenging, but which I also like (and also sometimes dislike for above reasons.) And now, here we are. Eleven-and-three-quarters years later.
An eleven-and-three-quarters year old.
This blog has become mainly the quarterly kid updates, especially the past few years. I also have the yearly vacation post, which I love, but overall, I haven’t been visited by the muse much lately. The pandemic wasn’t helpful, that’s for sure. I’ve been living in this space in my brain that tells me that there’s nothing to say here, in a public forum, because everything in my life is the same. (Not that that has ever stopped anyone on YouTube.) But that’s the bizarre mindset that blogging and social media have given rise to. The idea that if I don’t have something novel or beautiful to show, then I can’t contribute to the “conversation.” Even when there’s a shortage of excitement in life, there’s no shortage of thoughts. I’m always thinking thoughts, philosophizing, agonizing and obsessing, all of which is likely better to have recorded than, say, breakfast.
I say all of this for a reason, but we’ll get to that. First, let’s do the update:
Sonja’s just about ready to finish off the fifth grade. Our school goes late into June this year, and she’s got about a week left. It’s been a challenging year with a challenging teacher, but this year, more than any preceding it, Sonja has seen how work pays off. She studies for tests, she makes art projects, she writes essays, and she excels. She’s been frustrated at the lack of clear direction from her teacher, as have I, but isn’t that just how life goes, sometimes? When she has questions about how to do assignments that she can’t answer because, “the teacher didn’t tell us,” I tell her to do what she thinks is right. She does not like this answer. I’m sure I never did either, but years of ambiguity and feedback have taught me how to predict, anticipate and not worry too much about the consequences, since hard work is always looked upon favorably. She doesn’t understand this yet, but she will. However, I do hope that her teacher next year suits her style a bit better.
A school project.
She continues to play the flute and had her first band concert last week. She received an “excellent eagle” award earlier this month, and had her name drawn twice -in a row! – for “pizza with the principal.” The class spent the year studying the United States, and she passed all her tests on state capitals, abbreviations, locations, and statehood dates. We also seem to finally have gotten a handle on multiplication and division. (Phew! The pandemic wasn’t helpful with this, either.) She made all her reading goals, and it really makes me wish that my main purpose in life was reading books so I could take tests on them. She was part of the student leadership committee this year, a role she did not choose and which she says she did not like, but still. If I haven’t mentioned it already, her artwork will be featured on the back cover of the yearbook.
Sonja has also taken up the art of kandi-making. Kandi are plastic beads strung together to make bracelets. She’s really good at this and and she doesn’t need any help from me. She also occasionally makes designs with the little perler beads that fuse together when ironed. We got the perler bead kit a while ago, and my first impression was not good. Much too fiddly for me and my patience, and for a long time, that was true of Sonja as well. But lo and behold, her patience as grown, as has her aptitude for art projects. Patience and art aptitude were never my strong suits. She continues art lessons and loves drawing. The kid that wouldn’t touch a coloring book because she wanted to draw the pictures has just continued drawing the pictures.
Kandi bracelets.
One might think all that work would take up all the time. Alas, all of it is dwarfed by screentime. While YouTube looms large in this house, a few movies have been showing lately as well. We saw Super Mario Brothers in the theater, which she loved. She declared it her favorite movie and bought the poster, until some meme led her to watch The Lorax, which she then declared her favorite movie. There’s no poster available, but she’s been making lots of fan art, and she had Grandma make her “Onceler” pajamas.
Somewhere in between those two movies, she developed a fondness for Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox. Oh and for some reason, Bluey looms large in this house. We caught some episodes in a hotel room once, and then watching Bluey in hotel rooms became sort of a tradition. And now we watch it at home sometimes, because it’s just that good. I am surprised a nearly 12-year-old would come within an inch of children’s television, but secretly I love it. It reminds me of when she was little, and it is also, again, just that good. If you’ve not seen Bluey and you’re wondering why it’s just that good (or thinking that I’m crazy), here’s a video that explains the widespread appeal.
She continues to play Roblox and video games, usually online with friends from school. I swear she knows every last person that goes to her school. It makes it both tragic and not tragic that less than two weeks after I publish this blog, we will move to a new state. Tragic that she will have to say goodbye, and not-tragic in that she makes friends so easily, I’m sure she’ll know everyone in California in no time. Sonja also finds it tragic that, after this long-ass school year, her summer break will be cut short when Californians return to school at the end of August.
And there you have it. Moving. Things will be different now, that’s for sure. There’s been so much about this moving – ahem – adventure that has been agonizing, but rather than blogging about it, I’ve just kept it bottled up inside. The cat’s out of the bag now, though, and I smell content memories. For example, I can tell you now that I have been conflicted about removing Sonja from her school and her advanced program. Not only is she excelling, but she has moved with the same cohort since third grade. However, knowing that we will change teachers, something that would not happen if we stayed here, makes it a little less agonizing. Let’s hope the next teacher is a good one.
We’ve all been preparing for this eventuality for over a year now, which is good, since we’ve all had time to adjust our mindsets. Sonja, for her part, is looking forward to redoing her room. She’s nervous, as are we all, but she’s also upbeat and optimistic. Oh to be an optimist! When all is said and done, I’m sure we learn more from our children than we teach them. There’s this impulse by older generations to look down on younger ones. We think they’re ruining the world and themselves because they do things differently than we did. Baby boomers talk shit about Gen X (me), Gen X talks shit about Gen Z. But really, in every case, what’s happening is the mindset of the world is changing and if there’s one thing I support, it’s changing your mind. I may not be an optimist by nature (or as NoHo Hank says, “optometrist”), but maybe I can learn. Maybe Sonja can teach me. She did teach me how to take a selfie, so there’s hope yet.
Here is a list of (most) everything I read or watched this year. The list is (mostly) in chronological order. This year more than any other, I leaned very heavily on YouTube. While I do not think I consumed less than any previous year, there just seems to be a lot less substance. It’s something I aim to change next year.
TV Series / Comedy Specials / Limited Series
AfterLife – Season 3
Maid
Better Call Saul – S6
My Next Guest Needs No Introduction
Nothing Special – Norm MacDonald
The World According to Jeff Goldblum – S1 & 2
American Crime Story: Impeachment
Only Murders in the Building – S2
A League of Their Own – S1
Making the Cut – S3
Sheng Wang: Sweet & Juicy
The Crown – S5
Neal Brennan: Blocks
Dead to Me – S3
Nick Kroll: Little Big Boy
Reboot – S1
Wednesday – S1
Movies / Documentaries
Spider-Man: No Way Home
Spencer
Encanto
Ghostbusters: Afterlife
Cast Away*
Turner & Hooch
West Side Story (2021)
Turning Red
Lightyear
Jurassic World: Dominion
Inside the Mind of a Cat
Enola Holmes 2
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Books
How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell
Emotional Design: Why We Love (or Hate) Everyday Things by Don Norman
You’re Not Listening by Kate Murphy
Dickens & Prince by Nick Hornby
YouTube / Podcasts
Yoga with Adriene (YouTube)
Hypochondriactor (Podcast)
Randomland (YouTube)
Magic Journeys (YouTube)
Revisionist History – S7 (Podcast)
Vlogbrothers (YouTube)
WheezyWaiter (YouTube)
*I rented Cast Away because I thought Sonja would like it. She didn’t, and I confirmed my suspicions that I’d never seen the movie all the way through before. Therefore, I put it on the list.
I really thought that 2020 would’ve been a bad year for entertainment. What with everything shutting down and production schedules being delayed, etc. But as evidenced by my best of 2020 list, it wasn’t a year that lacked for content. 2021 felt particularly strained to me. The supply chain slowdown, so to speak, finally caught up to us. Since this list is always about what’s new to me in the year, not necessarily brand new, perhaps some of that strain came from me not wanting to look for new things. 2021 was not a year I wanted to watch some bloody, violent “peak TV” show, even though that’s been fun in the past. Nope, I wanted something light that could distract and amuse, which brings me to my first pick for the best of 2021:
Best of Television
Schitt’s Creek
This show won literally all of the Emmys in 2020 so I decided I could give it a look. As with several of the shows that I have come to love, I’d seen an episode or two before and for whatever reason, it didn’t click. It clicked this time, so much so that not only did I watch all six seasons this year, I watched all six seasons twice. It is easy to watch (a phenomenon now known as “comfort content,”) it is fun, and it is funny. And it’s funny in a lot of ways. It’s funny watching David being finicky or flipping out (oh how I can relate) and it’s funny listening to Moira’s wordplay, saying things like, “that dirigible has ascended” instead of “that ship has sailed.” That’s the blink and you’ll miss it kind of Simpson’s humor that’s rewarded by multiple viewings. I will say that the show gets off to a slow start, and picks up in season 3 when Patrick enters the picture. I love the David/Patrick relationship and I love that there’s almost no tension. It’s not the tired game of ‘will they/won’t they’ (or at least it doesn’t feel that way when you watch a whole season in a week). You know they’re going to be together, and you just get to watch that happen.
Only Murders in the Building
Here’s another show that lived up to the hype. It’s a great murder mystery and it’s also deep, guttural, belly-laugh funny. I can’t remember laughing harder than I did when Steve Martin is in the dog stroller. I am so, so, so glad there’s going to be a season two of this show and I cannot wait for it to get here.
Mad About You
I remember liking Mad About You back in the day. Even so, I didn’t think we needed a revival and once again, I was wrong. This was funnier and more entertaining than I thought it would be and I enjoyed watching it.
Best of Movies
Derek DelGaudio’s In & Of Itself
When I first watched this, all the way back in January of this year, I thought, “well, that will be the best thing I watch all year.” And it WAS. From the very first moments, I was riveted by the storytelling. And from there, I was moved by the contemplation of identity and the perception of identity. This one-man show, this play, this film – whatever you want to call it – feels like an experience that I will never get over.
Get Back
I have a theory that’s shared by many – I most recently heard it espoused by comedian Marc Maron – that if you are a person who does not like the Beatles, you are not hooked up right. There’s something wrong with you. I’m sure some would say the same about me because I have never even seen Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings films. I’ve never read Lord of the Rings either and I’ve absolutely no desire to do so. I give you this information so that you can read this next sentence with the appropriate context. Peter Jackson is a bona fide genius. I’ve heard the phrase, “never-before-seen footage” in relationship to the Beatles many, many times, so I was skeptical about this documentary. It seemed like it might be unnecessary. But this eight-hour miniseries proved stunning. First of all, if you’ve ever wanted to spend time in the studio with the Beatles, you won’t get any closer than this. And then, the technical achievement of the restoration of the footage is so impressive. Peter Jackson used machine learning to separate out the voices and instruments on a mono track. Can you even believe that? He taught a computer to distinguish between John, Paul, George and Ringo’s voices, and isolated their voices from the instruments. This was necessary because the Beatles were DELIBERATELY playing and talking at the same time to hide their conversations when they got tired of being filmed all the time. Genius. Eight hours may not be a commitment a casual Beatles’ fan will want to make, but I think I speak for the rest of us when I say, “Thank you, Peter Jackson.”
Best of Books
How to Be a Family by Dan Kois
Each time we remind Lyra to do a thing she is not doing, she gives an exasperated groan and says, “I’m doing it!” yet is not, in fact, doing it. She is not collecting her Spanish folder, she is not brushing her hair, she is above all not putting down her iPod. She’s also not putting on shoes.
Pg. 192
Many years ago, when Sonja was much smaller, I listened to and loved a podcast called Mom & Dad are Fighting. The hosts of that show were Allison Benedikt and Dan Kois (not married to each other.) I found myself relating to Dan, father of two girls, more than Allison, mother to three boys. Dan said once that he was in favor of quitting things, and I thought, yes, he and I would get along swimmingly. He sadly left the podcast a few years ago, but he did so to write this book, which I finally got to read. He takes his screen-addicted daughters to live in different places in the world and through the ensuing hardships, learns a little about himself and his family.
A Swim in a Pond in the Rain by George Saunders
For that matter, wouldn’t it be nice to just throw down on the side of being happy? To decide to live life as an ardent pro-happiness advocate, always striving to celebrate, dance, have fun, maximize your joy? But then, before you know it, you’re an obnoxious turd on Instagram, standing in a waterfall with a garland of flowers, thanking God for blessing you with this wonderful life you must have somehow earned via your immaculate mindfulness.
Pg. 337
Sometimes I do weird things, like read 400-page tomes “in which four Russians give a masterclass on writing, reading and life.” I think this might not be a weird thing for some people to do, but it’s a weird thing for me to do because I’ve never ever read any Russian literature at all. I’ve played Russian classical music and God bless the Russians for that. It was always my favorite. But I digress. I am always interested in the writing process and literary critique and this was a super interesting read. At some point during the reading of this book, I realized that I have a mild case of something called “aphantasia,” which is the inability to picture things in the mind’s eye. I probably wouldn’t have realized this if it weren’t for reading this book, but knowing this really put a lot of things in my life together for me. So, thank you, George Saunders?
The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green
On the other side of monotony lies a flow state, a way of being that is just being, a present tense that actually feels present.
-Pg. 193
I came to vlogbrothers on YouTube last year when some of their videos, bearing titles that were lyrics to All Star by Smash Mouth. popped up in my YouTube feed. I was too curious not to check them out. I knew of John Green’s book and film The Fault In Our Stars, but that’s all I knew. I love their videos now, all short, sweet, compelling and smart. I’m not much for fiction so I was pleased when this book came out and I could see firsthand what kind of a writer John Green is. The answer is a very good one, who speaks to many of my own personal eccentricities. He probably does use too many quotes in the book, but I am not one to throw stones. I had a student tell me this quarter that Green’s book Turtles All the Way Down really spoke to them, and now I’m considering adding that to my reading list for 2022.
Miracle and Wonder by Malcolm Gladwell (audiobook)
This is an audio book and can only exist as an audio book, because it features lots of Paul Simon playing his guitar in interviews and demonstrating what he means as he speaks about his music. It is hard to really think of this as a book, instead of an extended podcast, but it doesn’t really matter what it is, it is the best. thing. ever. The two direct lines to my heart are Paul Simon and Malcolm Gladwell. Put them together and it’s…well it’s a miracle and a wonder.
Amoralman by Derek DelGaudio
We sat in silence. She searched for her next words as if they were printed on the road ahead and eventually found them, saying, “There’s a lot of darkness in this world, kiddo…Be the light.”
-Pg. 14
In & Of Itself was the best thing I watched all year, so I definitely had to read the book. Once again, I found myself ensconced in some very good storytelling. The stage show was focused mainly on identity while the book focuses mainly on truth and deception, and all of these things are things I could think about and talk about all day. I don’t know how others felt while reading this book, but I definitely wondered if Derek DelGaudio and I are the two people in the world who are the most obsessed with truth. Truth is the reason I couldn’t read Bob Dylan’s memoir, which might have been partially true but nobody could say for sure, but why I can read Carrie Fisher’s fiction, which draws heavily on her own life experience but never pretends to be real.
Best of Music
Never Really Over as covered by Scary Pockets
We have been fans of Pomplamoose since before Sonja was born, but I’d never paid much attention to Scary Pockets. Scary Pockets is Pomplamoose co-founder Jack Conte’s other band. Another person I’ve never paid much attention to is Katy Perry, but if she sounded anything like this, I’d be her number one fan.
Mmmbop as covered by Scary Pockets
Yeah. You read that right. And that’s all I’m gonna say.
Best of the Internet
Sometimes the internet is a cesspool of stupidity and hate. Sometimes the internet is pure, unadulterated genius. Exhibit A: This meme.
And that’s about it for 2021. At least, that’s about all I have time for with what’s left of 2021. It’s not a bad list but it feels emptier than years past, which is how I would describe 2021 as a whole. I hope you found some things to like in 2021 as well and let’s keep looking forward to a better new year with better content. Happy new year!
Here is a list of (most) everything I read or watched this year. The list is (mostly) in chronological order. I’ve added some YouTube channels and podcasts I thought were noteworthy.
TV Series/Comedy Specials/Limited Series
The Mandalorian – Season 2
One Day at a Time (2017) – Seasons 1, 2, 3
Mad About You – Revival
Hilda – Season 1
Drunk History – Seasons 5, 6
Schitt’s Creek – Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Nailed It!: Double Trouble
Waffles & Mochi
Crazy Delicious
Atypical – Season 4
Never Have I Ever – Season 2
Makin’ It – Season 3
Making the Cut – Season 2
Behind the Attraction (Disney +)
Diary of a Future President – Season 2
The Chair
Nailed It! – Season 6
The Babysitter’s Club – Season 2
Only Murders in the Building – Season 1
Doogie Kamealoha – Season 1
Bakin’ It – Season 1
Comedy Monster – Jim Gaffigan
Movies/Documentaries
JoJo Rabbit
Emma (2020)
Ernest & Celestine
Derek DelGaudio’s In & Of Itself
The Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Three Identical Strangers
I Care a Lot
Kid 90
Yes Day
News of the World
Flora & Ulysses
Nomadland
The Social Dilemma
The Mitchells vs. The Machines
Avatar
Cruella
Avengers: End Game
Avengers
Thor
Jungle Cruise
Promising Young Woman
In the Heights
Free Guy
Atonement
Get Back
Dumplin’
The Power of the Dog
Spider-Man: No Way Home
Books
Home Cooking by Laurie Colwin
Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life by Thich Nhat Hanh
On Writing Well by William Zinsser
How to Be a Family by Dan Kois
Dusk, Night, Dawn by Anne Lamott
Having and Being Had by Eula Biss
A Swim in a Pond in the Rain by George Saunders
You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar
The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green
I Hate Running and You Can Too by Brendan Leonard
Navigating Life with Migraine and Other Headaches by William B. Young
Miracle and Wonder by Malcolm Gladwell (audiobook)
Before bringing out my annual list of favorite things back in 2017, I said that there wasn’t much good that went on in the world that year. HAHAHA. LOL. Even though 2020 was the worst, there still managed plenty of entertainment that captured my attention for the better. Maybe more than ever?
As always, anything on the following list was new to me in 2020, not necessarily new to the world. Which brings me to my first item in the list, a phenomenon from 2015 that only came to me via Disney + and quarantine:
Hamilton
I am not what you would consider a Broadway aficionado. My expertise in the musical realm begins and ends with shows that were eventually made into movies, like Annie. I heard plenty about Hamilton in 2015. One could not escape the cultural phenomenon. It just didn’t sound like something I would like. A hip-hop Broadway musical about founding father Alexander Hamilton? I was certainly not the only person Lin-Manuel Miranda ever had to convince that that was a good idea.
But it was a good idea. A great idea. A Shakespearean idea. I watched it because we happened to have Disney +, and we happened to be in the middle of a very boring pandemic that stripped us of all travel and most new shows that would have otherwise been occupying my summer entertainment time. What the hell, I thought. I was very confused during the first 30 minutes. Are they ever going to speak, so I can catch my breath and catch up with what’s going on? No? No. Okay, time for the captions. By the time we got to the 9th song in the cycle, Satisfied, I knew I could relax and enjoy myself. I knew this particular playwright knew what he was doing. There’s more than one side to any story, so let’s show another angle, and while we’re at it, why don’t we literally reverse the direction of the turntable that’s been spinning the actors about?
By the end, I was stunned, and I knew I would have to watch the whole thing again. Which is exactly what I have been doing for the last 5 months ad nauseum, testing the patience of my very patient husband. When will this obsession subside? Only time will tell.
Anne with an E
Hamilton has a way with words and Hamilton has a lot of words, and words are kind of my thing. Anne with an E also had a lot of words, many of them in very good order, such as this exchange between Anne and her adoptive mother Marilla.
Anne: How can you be so unfeeling?
Marilla: Years of practice.
This show was loose with words and emotions and had at its center a desire for moral justice. And moral justice is also kind of my thing. Ergo and heretofore, Anne with an E was kind of my thing. The icing on the cake is that the showrunner was Moira Walley-Beckett, a writer and producer of Breaking Bad.
The Queen’s Gambit
Should you find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting the outcome of a chess game, and then crying about said chess game, you are for sure watching The Queen’s Gambit. You may also be wondering, wait – what’s happening here? Why am I crying about a chess game? (Also, that black and white dress!)
Penguins (Disney +)
Like all things my daughter comes to love, it was very difficult to get her to watch this, and I did so amidst piercing screams and cries of bloody murder. Bloody murder until Steve, the googly-eyed adelie penguin, came dancing across the screen. From that moment on, Steve was our new best friend. This nature documentary was beautifully shot and riveting to look at, and the idea of Steve, as voiced by Ed Helms, was charming, though I am almost positive Steve was played by as many animal actors as Lassie. No way they could’ve kept track of just that one penguin. Right?
You’re Doing Great by Tom Papa
I read the book and watched the special and both were great. Tom Papa is always great. Tom Papa audiobooks are becoming a staple of our road trips.
The New One by Mike Birbiglia
Over the years I’ve become an “every-aisle shopper as opposed to a “specific aisle” shopper. Specific-aisle shoppers are myopic. They’re like, Paper towels and cereal, now get out of my way! Every aisle shoppers are like, Isn’t life really just a trip to the grocery store? I used to be a specific-aisle shopper and then I had a few incidents where I’m home and it’s eleven o’clock at night and I think, Oh no. Graham crackers. An every-aisle shopper is basically mowing the lawn that is the grocery store while sipping coffee and popping cheese samples. It’s not a bad life.
–pg. 209, The New One by Mike Birbiglia
Again, I watched the special and read the book. The special was great. The book was better. There are so many books on what it feels like to be a mother and only one on what it feels like to be a father. This kind of honesty and insight is rare. You should read it.
The Creative Habitby Twyla Tharp
I did a google search for books on the writing process, and someone’s list had this book as a meditation on and lessons for how to be creative. I was skeptical to read something by a dancer, but since it wasn’t strictly about dance, I decided it deserved a look. Turns out this particular dancer had a lot to say about the creative process in any and all creative fields and it hit upon a lot of truths. Truths like this:
When I apply a critic’s temperament to myself, to see if I’m being true to my DNA, I often think in terms of focal length, like that of a camera lens. All of us find comfort in seeing the world either from a great distance, at arm’s length, or in close-up. We don’t consciously make that choice. Our DNA does, and we generally don’t waver from it.
The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp, -pg. 37
I think I see things at arm’s length. How about you?
10 Lessons for a Post-Pandemic World by Fareed Zakaria and On Immunity by Eula Biss
Both of these books were great reads for 2020. While Zakaria’s book addresses COVID-19 specifically and Biss’s book doesn’t (it was published in 2014), both put forth fascinating scientific and cultural histories of disease. 10 Lessons analyzes recovery after catastrophic global events, and On Immunity tells the millennia-long story of inoculation and vaccination through the lens of a new mother trying to makes sense of all the competing viewpoints that surround her.
Les Champs Elysees by Pomplamoose
One of my theory teachers in college called me a “joy junkie.” I love it when the musicians playing the music sound as happy as the song they are playing. This song is my jam.
And let’s not forget the quarantine-inspired entertainments, such as this:
Gotta Be Patient (Confination Song #6)
And this:
Paul Simon – The Boxer (Acoustic Version March 2020)
And this:
2021 Will Fix Everything (The Holderness Family)
I started watching The Vlog Brothers this year by accident, really, as they decided to title a bunch of their videos with lyrics to All Star by Smash Mouth, and when that showed up in my feed, I was too curious not to watch. For the most part, I’m more interested in what the other brother has to say, but this was spot on and I enjoyed listening to someone articulating these thoughts about desire:
I’ve also grown quite fond of a channel called Wheezy Waiter because I think the creator has a lot to say about creativity. This is one of the videos I enjoyed this year:
And because I mentioned it in the last post, and I’ve watched at least one video from this channel for the past 54 consecutive days, I cannot possibly complete a list of the best of 2020 without mentioning Yoga with Adriene, the channel that sparked my yoga obsession. (A channel I learned of through Wheezy Waiter, btw.)
I would say that’s a pretty good list for such a crappy year. Here’s to more good entertainment and less pandemic in 2021.
Here is a list of everything I read or watched this year, as far as I know. The list is in chronological order, as far as I know. I’ve added a few of the kids’ books and the YouTube channels that I thought were noteworthy.
TV Series/Comedy Specials/Limited Series
The Good Place – Season 4, Part II
Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back
Diary of a Future President – Season 1
Tom Papa: You’re Doing Great
Better Call Saul – Season 5
Marc Maron: End Times Fun
Nailed It! – Season 4
Making the Cut – Season 1
McMillion$
Mark Twain Prize: Dave Chapelle
Making It – Season 2
Tiger King
After Life – Season 2
Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill
Never Have I Ever – Season 1
Dead to Me – Season 2
Patton Oswalt: I Love Everything
The Imagineering Story
Waco
Wanda Sykes: Not Normal
It’s a Dog’s Life – Season 1
Hannah Gadsby: Douglas
Hannah Gadsby: Nanette
Jim Gaffigan: Pale Tourist
The Babysitters Club – Season 1
Anne with an E – Seasons 1-3
Enola Holmes
Izze’s Koala World
Drunk History – Seasons 1-4
My Next Guest Needs No Introduction – Season 3
The Crown – Season 4
The Queen’s Gambit
The Mandalorian – Season 1
Movies/Documentaries
Jumanji: The Next Level
Troop Zero
Last Christmas
Onward
Playing with Fire
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Supersize Me 2: Holy Chicken
Knives Out
Bombshell
Timmy Failure
Little Women (2019)
Contagion
Penguins (Disney Nature)
Togo
Athlete A
The Three Amigos
Hamilton
Madness of King George
Hamilton
Psych 2: The Movie
Howard
One & Only Ivan
Hamilton
Phineas & Ferb: Candace Against the Universe
Mulan (2020)
The Trial of the Chicago 7
Borat 2: Subsequent Movie Film
The Current War
Hamilton x104
I Am Greta
The Fault in Our Stars
Love and Mercy
Klaus
The Call of the Wild
The Man Who Invented Christmas
Wonder Woman 1984
Soul
Bad Education
Eddie the Eagle
Books
Vacationland by John Hodgman
Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott
You’re Doing Great! by Tom Papa
Medallion Status by John Hodgman
Caffeine by Michael Pollan
Hamilton: The Revolution by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter
The Life Changing Manga of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
The New One by Mike Birbiglia
Virtual Unicorn Experience by Dana Simpson
Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster) by Dave Barry
Just Like You by Nick Hornby
The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp
10 Lessons for a Post-Pandemic World by Fareed Zakaria
The Writing Life by Annie Dillard
The Stupendously Spectacular Spelling Bee by Deborah Abela
Some Writer! by Melissa Sweet
Nothing Like I Imagined (Except for Sometimes) by Mindy Kaling
I Want to be Where the Normal People Are by Rachel Bloom
On Immunity by Eula Biss
Keep It Moving by Twyla Tharp
On Writing Well (In Progress)
The Death of the Artist by William Deresiewicz (In Progress)
I hereby officially renounce any and all past complaints of the winter doldrums during the “and-a-half” posts. I LONG for the winter doldrums. I would pay for the winter doldrums at this point. Winter may be boring but at least we still left the house. The past three months, now known as the COVID-19 doldrums, have been trying, to say the least. And yet, if you’re a silver lining kind of person, you could say that we hit some milestones that we probably wouldn’t have hit had we not been out of school and social distancing.
I was beginning to fear that we might never learn to ride a bike. There are so many things that come so easily for her that things that don’t come easily are not well-tolerated, and riding a bike did not come easy. She may have inherited her father’s propensity for video games and her mother’s verbal predilection, but neither of us are what you’d call athletic. But a little bit of extra time and a person to teach her who was not a relative was all it took. It was one of those magic kid moments where you think learning is going to be progressive and go through stages, and instead you go from being unable to ride a bike one day and full on racing down the street the next.
Yay!
The quarantine definitely got to her because as restrictions started to loosen, she jumped at the chance to have a sleepover – her first – at her friend’s house. I waited by the phone until very late at night, expecting to get the call that she wanted to come home, and it didn’t come.
Since start times for work and school are flexible, we settled in to new routines that let us all return to our night owl roots. I used to get up at 6 and now it’s closer to 8. Sonja gets up at 9 if I wake her, which I do because she wants to watch her new favorite show on PBS, Xavier Riddle and the Secret Museum. This is a show that centers around real historical figures, making their stories accessible to children. Sonja loves this type of show. (See also: The Who Was Show) As with most children’s shows, there are about 4 episodes available and Sonja has seen all of them 100 times. There’s no telling when she’ll tire of it.
The artwork in Xavier Riddle is clearly inspired by Calvin & Hobbes. With no libraries open and running low on her own material, I gave Sonja my Calvin & Hobbes collection. She’s almost through all of the books and she absolutely loves them.
The artist’s rendering of the artist’s rendering
In other entertainment news, she also came to love the Disney Nature movie Penguins. For days on end we tried to have a movie night, but, finding nothing she wanted to watch, we would turn instead to YouTube videos. (Not that she doesn’t like YouTube.) I told her I thought she might like this movie on Disney + about penguins. She declined. She declined and declined and declined until one day, amid screams and cries of utter hysteria that she DID NOT want to watch this movie, I just hit play and as soon as Steve, the googly-eyed Adelie penguin came dancing across the screen, she was hooked. We’ve now watched this movie 17 million times.
As wake up calls crept later and later after quarantine began, so did bedtime. It used to be 9, even though she wouldn’t really fall asleep until 11. Then, we fell into a routine of watching TV in my bedroom until bedtime, which eventually just wound up being 11. Why fight it? Of course, now that she’s in bed at 11, she might not fall asleep until midnight. (What’s she doing in that hour? Reading.) I may be getting up later, but most nights I can’t stay up that late.
Even though there wasn’t a school bell to heed, we continued distance learning, eventually settling in to a routine that worked for us. I don’t know how much learning was achieved during this time, but we can safely say that work was done. The official last day of school is tomorrow, and even though she can’t wait to be done (the feeling is mutual), she also really misses school (the feeling is mutual.)
Moose loom large in our household.
On days when it was nice, we tried to get outside. To encourage her to get outside more, I bought her a scooter, which she loved for two minutes until she learned how to ride that bike.
Finally, disappointed that we couldn’t go on our annual spring break trip to Leavenworth, we made up our own version…
Next we’ll have to “make up” our version of a Disney vacation, and I’m not going to lie, that one stings. It stings a little extra this year, when we had the perfect flight, a free hotel, and a bunch of friends who were going to join us. That convergence of events will likely not happen again. I recognize that what we are all dealing with is temporary but I also acknowledge that it’s long-form temporary. I did not want long-form temporary. Summer won’t look like what I want it to (adios swim lessons), and neither will fall. And yet, if you’re a silver lining kind of person, you could take this as an opportunity to find things to do that you otherwise wouldn’t have thought of. It might lead to new kinds of learning. Too bad I’m not a silver lining kind of person.
We are in the era of remakes, reboots and revisits. This year we finally got a Deadwood movie and we finally got a Breaking Bad movie and I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that neither makes this year’s Best Of list. Deadwood was fine but felt like an extension of season 3, which was, shall we say, not the best season of Deadwood? The characters and dialogue in Deadwood are always superb, but I don’t think the plot ever recovered from making Al Swearingen and Seth Bullock allies against another villain, one with neither the complexities nor the charm of the first. And my dear Breaking Bad simply picked up the story in the wrong spot. It jumped only far enough forward in time that we could flash back to what was happening as the series ended, with Jessie imprisoned by the neo-nazis. I knew Jesse got away and I wanted to see more of how he rebuilt his life and less – a lot less – of Todd. One thing I was not asking for in a Breaking Bad storyline was more Todd.
As always, this post contains the things I had the most fun watching, reading or listening to the previous year, whether or not they came out in 2019. All Most of the entries are new to me in 2019. And wow, I found a lot to like in 2019.
First up is:
After Life
This Ricky Gervais series was short, sweet and perfect. Ricky Gervais is hit or miss for me, and I was surprised to like this one so much, since I generally prefer to avoid the subject of death. In that genre, though, I often find that the art that deals with grief has a lot to say. And After Life said it so well. I was sobbing by the end of it, as was the main character, and not for the reasons you might think. So many series tug on the heart strings in a contrived manner, where you know you’re being manipulated, but this was so genuine and genuinely surprising. Good work.
NSFW
Barry, Season 2
Season 2 was better than season 1. It asked questions about life’s essential truths, such as: What does it mean to be honest with other people? How can you be honest with other people if you’re not being honest with yourself? How can Barry be honest and move forward in his life when acknowledging his past will end his future? It’s very dark. And still, I found one scene so morbidly funny, I had to explain to Sonja why I kept randomly laughing throughout the day.
In this scene, a gang of Chechen mobsters are about to be incinerated on a school bus. Their leader delivers the following monologue:
Since we’re all about to die in a moment, I have to be honest about something, okay? I have been deceiving you guys.
And before we die, – I have to come clean. I know you look at me and you see hard-as-nails criminal, stone-cold killer, ice man.
But, uh, this is lie. In fact, I have been lying about who I am my entire life.
Real talk? I should not be manager of crime syndicate. I should be manager of hotel – chain of hotels. Instead of being this conning man, playing the role of the ruthless gangster. I mean, that is not who I am, because – so be it.
I’m nice. I’m polite. I’m optometrist by nature, you know? But because I did not have courage to stand up and be my true self, nice guy, and instead chose pants-on-fire existence, we are all on the barbecue bus.
Sonja’s interpretation of the barbecue bus.
Chernobyl
I bought a subscription to HBO so I could watch the two-hour Deadwood movie. I stayed for Chernobyl. This 5-episode miniseries is impeccable. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s not just the incredulity of the events, but the way the storytelling unfolds. I cannot say enough good things about it, and I don’t want to say too much about it, so just go watch it if you haven’t already.
I love reading about writing and this book, recommended by the New York Times, was very fulfilling. It was chewy and in-depth talk about constructing writing at the sentence level, and I loved every word. It gave me a new favorite word – nouny – and a new favorite phrase – Columbo adverbs – and if either of those piques your interest, you should definitely read this book.
The act is its own reward; do not expect applause. You must be willing to keep writing in the absence of any evidence that anyone is reading. And no use complaining either, since no one asked you to do it in the first place. The rewards of writing sentences are real, but they are long-deferred and mostly unconfirmed.
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Not the movie, which is also a favorite of mine. The television series, which began this year on Hulu. It qualifies as a remake and an expansion. Mindy Kaling, whom I love, created the show. The film and the series bore very few resemblances, except for a few key shots, like a love-declaring character getting soaked in the rain, and the precise number of weddings and funerals. I heard about the show, knowing I loved the movie and Mindy Kaling, and still I didn’t watch it until late in the year when I got very bored. And how glad I am that I was bored, because I lapped up every second.
The Good Place
Speaking of preferring to avoid the subject of death, I avoided this show about the after life as long as I could. When I finally dipped my toe in the water, they had me at “fork.” When Chidi described himself as having, “directional insanity” and said that he, “once got lost on an escalator,” there was no turning back.
My Lil Cube
This is our new favorite restaurant, serving up homemade, authentic Japanese ramen. It’s local and family-run, and we go as often as once a week. The things I love have a habit of being discontinued, so if I have to single-handedly keep this restaurant in business, I’ll do it. Luckily for me, this is a pretty hoppin’ place.
It was great fun rediscovering the Ramona series with Sonja. We read every book in the series between last year and this. I was surprised how good the writing was and how the stories, with their emphasis on character over plot, fit right in with my adult literary proclivities. Among the shelves of Cleary books at the library were two memoirs, one which focused on her childhood years (A Girl from Yamhill) and one which focused on the college plus years (My Own Two Feet.) Both were great but I connected more with her stories of going to college and becoming a writer. Like me, she was unapologetically unathletic.
In physical education I was unexpectedly lucky, for the physical therapist decided my metatarsal arches were in need of strengthening. This put me in a remedial class where I picked up marbles with my toes while strong-arched girls ran around in the hot sun chasing a ball with hockey sticks. I was deeply grateful to my metatarsal arches for not measuring up to Chaffey’s standards and for sparing me the sweaty misery of chasing a ball with a stick under the hot sun.
My Own Two Feet, pg. 37-38
I think Beverly Cleary and I would get along swimmingly.
I’ve spent the last 8 years evaluating children’s literature, from the tongue-twister-on-steroids, Fox in Socks, to the mastery of Mo Willems to the Five-Minute Stories that are supposed to be appealing in their length but are just the opposite because five minutes of poor storytelling is five more than you want. This Moose Belongs to Me is, hands-down, my favorite children’s story. It is short but perfectly executed, from word choice to character development to plot and plot twist. Sonja found out at school, from one of her teachers no less, that a department store was selling the author’s characters as stuffed animals, and now we have our very own Marcel, star of the story, to carry with us wherever we go.
Much of the time, it seemed as though the moose wasn’t listening, but Wilfred knew he was. Mostly because he followed Rule 4 very well: Not making too much noise while Wilfred plays his record collection.
Another great book on writing, this one discussing the macro-elements of storytelling, as opposed to the micro-elements in First You Write a Sentence.
As counterintuitive as it may sound, a story is not about the plot or even what happens in it. Stories are about how we, rather than the world around us, change. They grab us only when they allow us to experience how it would feel to navigate the plot. Thus story, as we’ll see throughout, is an internal journey, not an external one.
You’ve Gota Friend in Me and Old French Tune by Pomplamoose
I almost never like the covers/remakes of Randy Newman’s songs because they don’t understand the complexity of the harmonies and usually leave out most of the orchestration. Enter Pomplamoose with this spectacular version. I like everything about this.
This might be (gasp) better than Newman’s version
I also love this old French tune, which is new to me, and like the above, perfectly executed.
Je Me Suis Fait Tout Petit
For No One by James Taylor and Diana Krall
I also really love this cover of The Beatles’ For No One by James Taylor and Diana Krall. I don’t know when I first found this – not this year – but I never mentioned it before and I should have.
No Excuses Video by Meghan Trainor
This song is all right, but when I first discovered it – again, not this year – I couldn’t get enough of the video. I don’t watch many music videos anymore – I’m not even sure how many artists make them. But they should all strive to be this visually interesting. From the dance moves to the camera moves, I love it.
My Favorite Quote
I can’t tell you how many great lines I come across as I read. Well, I could. I could count because I write them all down. But I don’t have that kind of time. But I read the following line in The New York Times travel magazine and I’m declaring it my favorite quote of 2019:
Going through the Times’s archive of family vacation photos was a powerful reminder that what makes a family vacation great is less about where you go and how much you spend, and all about how excited you are to be there.
I’m prone to worry about whether the things we do and the places we go on vacation are the “right things to do” and the “right places to go.” I can’t answer that question, but I know that we’re all of us really, really excited to be there, so I guess we’re doing all right.
Those were some of the things I really enjoyed in 2019. Here’s hoping 2020 produces just as much good stuff!
Suite Story Productions 